Fresh Start

Clouds

Yesterday G and I attended Horsham parkrun which, conveniently for us, is currently located in Southwater Country park.  It’s about 200 yards from our front door and so, when we’re at home, it would be really rude not to.

We rocked up at 8.58am, watched the runners assemble, tagged onto the back and then set off along the Downslink and into the Country Park.  It was a deceptively warm morning and within a minute or two I was warm and sweating gently.

This morning the run felt excessively difficult.  To be honest, running has been a struggle lately and so I tried to focus on the reasons why. I tuned into my inner self for a quick evaluation.

What I found shocked me to the core.  It shouldn’t have, but it did.

Every step was a struggle.  The effort of picking up my foot and striding forward exhausting. There was no flow, no lightness of foot, no glide.

I was lumbering.

The first mile beeped at 12.30 mm pace.  Depressingly, it was evident I couldn’t keep that pace going and as the run went on I got slower and slower.

My dreams for this year evaporated in front of my metaphoric eyes as I forced myself to face the reality of what I’ve become.  I’ve never felt further away from running a marathon.  I couldn’t even manage to run 5km without stopping.

While I was running it felt a bit like tossing a caber (not that I expect you’ve done it, for the record I haven’t done it either).  But that bit when you pick up a really heavy weight and you need to find the sweet spot to keep it upright before it topples over.

Actually it felt like trying to carry two 25 kgs water carriers.  I have done that occasionally when we were laying out an event and we were short of time. I would pick up two full carriers and waddle in a ‘run’ to their destination.

Oh my.

And then I did the maths.  I have at least 50kg to lose to get to a ‘healthy BMI’.  We can argue if that is a fair target another day, but the reality is yesterday, I was running carrying two 25kg water carriers in extra weight. It’s no wonder it’s a struggle.

As soon as we were done, I came home and dug out ‘The Paleo Solution: The Original Human Diet’ by Robb Wolf.

Tomorrow is a new day and a new week and hopefully the start of a new life because I need to get on this once and for all.  And God help me, I’m going to need all the help I can get.

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About PT Nicky

I'm a girl in the world just trying to make 1% improvements everyday. I recently qualified as a Personal Trainer. I certainly don't fit the aesthetic of a PT and I wanted to demonstrate that ordinary people can achieve their hearts desire. Clean eating advocate with paleo leanings.
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8 Responses to Fresh Start

  1. Naomi jones says:

    There is so much I want to say to you. Being overweight is unhealthy. Being overweight really destroys your mental thoughts when running. And whilst I am proud of you for starting your journey, may I just remind you to watch your mental health and don’t fixate on the weight loss too much, some weeks will be great and some won’t. If I only I could apply my own advice to myself “sigh”

    • trilady says:

      Thank you. I know mental health has been an integral part of why I’m here now but I’m feeling strong enough to tackle it now. One day at a time. Hope things are good with you x

      • Naomi Jones says:

        Got cold, and was coughing so didn’t run. Then with working on Saturdays H
        Have been struggling to go back out. 🙈🙈🙈 why do we do it to ourselves.

      • trilady says:

        I know. I’m great at derailing plans and that will be one thing I’ll be working on (there are lots of things that need work – consistency is the first). I’m also considering help but not sure in what guise yet. Have you got anyone to help you?

  2. Lee the Pea says:

    I hear you! You’re definitely not alone, and as you know I’m here to help in any way. Supporting each other (and being okay with accepting any help from elsewhere) will be so important. One decision at a time, nothing more xxx

  3. Amanda says:

    Been there and have several t-shirts in varyig sizes and don’t beat yourself up over it, take it a day at a time. x

  4. deaddeerblog says:

    I’m sure you know much better than I do but some days it just isn’t working. Sometimes I start out on my bike and I find myself checking to see if I’ve left the handbrake on! Yet the day before and the day after I have great rides. Good luck.

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