Moving Along

img_4250

Being outdoors to exercise is the BEST THING EVER.  Running in the woods hearing the birds singing, or cycling with the wind in your face (it’s accepted, there is always a head wind – no matter which direction you are cycling!)  Even open water swimming is far preferable to its pool counterpart.  Not least because it brings with it, a sense of adventure.

But, the one thing I love about swimming in a pool versus open water is that ability to monitor progress.  I don’t mean admiring the pull technique I’ve been working on for the last six months (haha) but, that sense of being able to measure that you are moving along in the water.

Nearly a year ago, a few of us sat round a dinner table and drank to 2016, the year of possibilities and dreams.

Well that went well!

We have watched in awe, disbelief, astoundment, frustration and anger tinged with hysteria at the state of the world at the end of the year.  Our friends at that table have seen the dreams we toasted, explode around them.  Elsewhere, other friends also struggling with their own castle which followed that brief (almost to the letter).  But as the Phoenix has to periodically combust in order to regenerate then I guess, so do we.

For the friends I mention, progress has been made, dreams are being picked up and dusted off and slowly pieced back together.  Progress is slow, but tangible.

And me?

I’m about as physically unfit as it can possibly be.  My goals for the first part of next year are to achieve consistency and better manage the fibromyalgia which has been plaguing.

But it is in mental health I have leaped forward.

The measure of the progress is thus.  On the drive home to Southwater on the duel carriageway section of the A24 beyond Horsham there is a suggested crossing point.  This point is protected by railings.  In the early parts of this year, I wanted nothing more than to smash the van into these railings at 100 mph.

I was oscilating between the feelings of success and abject failure.  And struggling with chronic fatigue to sort it one way or the other.  I’ve found it hard to make peace with the comments from Alan early last year about my failure to run the businesses.  I know in my heart the decision to close was the right one.  But it didn’t make it easier and the burden of that was almost too much to bear.  I still haven’t really dealt with the end of my marriage yet.  Just prodded and poked at the bits around the end.  He had mourned, wiped the slate, moved on and announced an engagement within the space of ten months.

I’ve learned that I’m really good at filling up time with ‘work’ and then claiming I’m too busy to do stuff.  Both the shop and the events company do still take up an enormous amount of time, more than a full time job to be fair, but since I’m no longer tied to the shop I ought to be able to escape for a coffee for half an hour.

Sometimes I do and sometimes I won’t, and I certainly use it as an excuse when it comes to exercise.  A ‘life distraction technique’, G called it.  Peter concurred and advised rather than walking around topics pretending they are not there, to walk straight through and deal with what you find.  ‘It’s not like it could get much worse’, he said.  “Quite!” was my reply.

For now, I have enough vision through the water to monitor progress.  I can relax enough to crochet granny squares.  Operation blankie is coming on a treat:

img_4243

G and I made our own Christmas wreath:

 

img_4226

With the help of some wonderful friends, I’m learning to dressmake:

img_4241

The kitchen is definitely getting used more:

img_4206

And the allotment is coming on a treat:

img_4207

I’m really enjoying using my hands and being more practical.  And now my head is feeling better, I’m in a much better place to get my body well again.

In just under two weeks, the same group will come to the table to toast 2017 (I’m warning you all now so you can take cover).  I have a feeling this one may be a better year.

Advertisements

About PT Nicky

I'm a girl in the world just trying to make 1% improvements everyday. I recently qualified as a Personal Trainer. I certainly don't fit the aesthetic of a PT and I wanted to demonstrate that ordinary people can achieve their hearts desire. Clean eating advocate with paleo leanings.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Moving Along

  1. zoeforman says:

    2016 hasn’t been kind to me either health terms, but lets look forward to 2017 with the same gusto and optimism we tried for 2016.
    Very honest account of your year, thanks for sharing.
    Now lets get this end of year party started and hot the New Year head on 🙂

  2. sueford2015 says:

    Watch the phoenix soar in 2017!

  3. Amanda says:

    So pleased you feel stronger and calmer in your head that is what I call progress. With that hopefully your physical health will slowly come right too. Heck we are gunning for you as you have worked so hard to get the time for your sabbatical and here’s to 2017 my favourite time keeper 🙂

  4. Sissy Wissy says:

    2016 certainly was great for me too .. 2 operations and alot of pain and again struggling with weight… but I can honestly say that I haven’t felt as well as I do now in the last 20 years !! thats a long time 😢 but now nearly recovered and weight with Slimming World is back on track .. still lost 2 stone but another 2 to go and I’ll be happy xxx bring on 2017 to fill with lots of happy memories and smiles xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s